Thursday, August 25, 2016

Black women, Do you have your red-or green light on?

Famous Entrepreneur Marc Ecko and Wife...

So many times I hear bw saying they don't think wm are really interested in bw. However if you watch these same women in their day to day interactions with wm, you will see them tense up, appear uncomfortable, ill at ease, and noncommunicable (many times) when they engage in conversations with wm. Let me ask you ladies a question. If a man claimed he was open to dating you, yet seemed uncomfortable, ill at ease, and even looked around( as if scared of who might be watching!) would you continue to see him, or even continue the conversation? I know I would not. I have definitely dropped wm in the past I definitely could have been interested in, because I felt they were too concerned with what other people would think. He has to be resolute in his feelings for me to feel comfortable.
Like John Wayne, he needs to have a devil may care, I'm going to be with the woman I want! type-attitude. '

Unfortunately many of you ladies are suffering from the old "But what will bm think syndrome! Get over it!! Do they EVER bother to care what any of you think? To me it's just so silly to waste time worrying about ppl you don't even know. That's insane. Those ppl have never cared what you thought, and they never will.
Many of you have no idea why wm are not approaching you, but at the same time, when he tries to engage in light conversation, many of you are giggling like silly school girls, and then running away, or snapping back an answer. I watched in the market one day, as a wm followed a bw who was scolding her small child. He finally worked up the courage to approach, and make a light remark along the lines of
" Well, don't worry- one day we'll be getting on their nerves" I could tell he was trying to make a joke to lighten the mood, but the irate mother immediately turned, and snapped.
" Excuse me, but could you mind your own business! "
The man turned red with embarrassment, and slid away. This is so common, it's almost a daily occurrence with many bw. I don't think many of them even realize they're doing it. The truth of the matter is that many of you have a bright red light on (a STOP LIGHT) blaring, and then you're wondering why no one is trying to come into your intersection. Many men are very intimidated to approach bw, not because we are the mean witches the media portrays us as but because so many bw have made self annihilating remarks such as: Nuthin but a brotha! I need a strong bm! He's too pale for me! etc etc.

I don't believe for a minute too many bw actually feel this way. I strongly suspect they've tried to ameliorate bm's flagging egos with these remarks, but they've backfired, and many bw are alone,or seen as unapproachable because of them.
Read this quote from one discouraged white man.....

I think the bottom line is that men of all colors fear rejection. Black women are the least likely of any group in this country to date outside of their race. This is something that has been proven through various studies. If you cruise through a personals site, you will see black women more often than any other race cite that they are looking for black men. I remember watching an episode of Oprah several years ago where there were several single black women sitting around talking about dating interracially where half said they would, half wouldn't and then of the half that would, a few said something along the lines of "but when I marry, I want a strong black man" as the other women nodded along. You don't really see or hear that with Latinas, Asians and white women (although some may think it admittedly). As such, many non-black men feel that they will get shot down if approaching a black women so they don't even bother to try. It's not something that is exclusive to race. It's similar to how many men would not bother approaching or asking out an Angelina Jolie clone if they were to see her in a bar, regardless of whether or not after a conversation they got along well with her, simply because they would view her as out of their league and a near certain rejection that they'd rather not hear. I remember one instance where I was in a bar and talking to a black woman, and when I more or less asked her out, she looked at me like I was crazy and then didn't even say anything but just started cackling. When she composed herself enough, she managed to say "you're a little too pale for me if you know what I'm saying." This woman was not representative of the black race and should be judged on an individual basis. She was just a beeyotch plain and simple, regardless of her race. I could have been rejected in the same manner by a Latina, Asian or a white woman, but in terms of statistics, more black women refuse to date outside of their race than those other groups, so this sort of reaction is the sort of thing that I think a lot of white men fear and makes them second-guess themselves when it comes to approaching black women. I think white men will approach an Asian or Latina woman without a second thought of "does she date white guys?", whereas the same doesn't hold true a lot of times for black women. I'm not sure if I explained that correctly but it makes sense in my head.....

When I read his comment, it reminds me of the Sherl Underwood incident. When she was on a panel, and showing off for the numerous bm there. A wm said to her, "Now if you and I were to go out-" (he was putting out a feeler to see if she was interested) She immediately snapped: "You and I ain't goin nowhere!!!" All the bm on the show began to clap and stomp gleefully, while cheering this fool on. Then after the show, they hugged up with their ww, and headed happily home!
She went home alone.......
BW, beauty really does fade, but dumb really is forever! ( a quote from one of my fav. judges) Don't be stuck on stupid. Only a fool pays homage to ppl who would spit on them. Bm are trying to get as far from anything black as they possibly can. You all can see this. So don't ever close the door on good men, to uphold the egos of men who don't give a damn about you.... WAKE UP!
When you see a nice guy smiling at you, or trying to make conversation-think green
. Open body language
. Turn TOWARD him
. Give a hint of a smile, but don't overdo
. Definitely look him in the eye even if it's brief
. Ask open questions that require more than yes or no
. Leave little doubt that you are interested, but never appear needy.
Ladies, I think you all know exactly what to do, now do it and stop complaining that wm don't want you. They def. do, but you have to let them know that you are interested-so put that green light on.....

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Super good looking man or a super good man?

Wolfgang Puck and wife

Some women will do anything for a piece of eye candy. They'll put up with cheating, disrespect, and even outright abuse. Some women are worse then men when it comes to being a sucker for a pretty face. Smart ladies understand that beautiful faces are fleeting, the only "beauty" you should insist your man possess is the internal kind.Yes I know that sounds corny, but trust me, you can learn to love the homeliest face if you only focus on the heart.
The truth of the matter is most husbands rarely look like David Beck, or Viggo Morteson, they look like everyday men who fell in love. I see lonely women everyday who refuse to date men unless they were in the realm of Idris Elba, or Brad Pitt. This is utterly ridiculous as of us would be furious if men expected us look like Beyonce or Angelina. Most women also do not understand that the way to a man's heart is not his stomach, like your momma taught you, but his ego, and self image. For instance, look at the hottie above. How many times a day do you think women swoon over him and remind him how 'hot' he is?  Chances are, its an everyday occurrence.

If you wanted to stand out with someone like this, the last thing you'd want to do is walk up to him and start drooling like a groupie. He's probably so tired of that type of attention, it's probably beyond boring to him. A much better technique would be to really come across as someone completely different, down to earth, not interested in his looks at all, and seemingly not impressed by them. If he's worth dating at all, he'll probably be intrigued by your apathetic attitude toward his looks. Notice, I said IF he's worth dating. Unfortunately alot of men who look like this are simply NOT worth dating. Reason being  is that they are so hung up and stuck on themselves they cannot see straight. Not perhaps it's not fair to pick on men with super looks. After all, both Viggo and David B seem to be great husbands to their very lucky wives, but I definitely think they are the exceptions rather than the rule. So don't discard the pretty boys as no good right off the bat. But don't waste alot of time on them either ladies. Here are some quick starter tips when trying to catch the eye of very exclusive quarry....

1. Wear an expensive perfume. Perfume has the ability to make you feel a certain way, ie sexy, sensual, rich etc. So you really want to put yourself in the state of feeling good, and perfume can definitely help.

2. Excercise. Nothing seems to bring out the 'I feel good' hormones as much as excercise. It's also great for digestion, making you look, and feel younger, slimming you down, regulating the heart and circulation, giving you a glow, giving you a bounce in your step etc.

3. Do something really nice for yourself. I don't know what gets your pulse jumping-but you do! Maybe it's watching old movies, or dancing around the room. Maybe it's a quiet walk in the park, or a glass of wine. You know what the thing is that makes you happy to wake up in the morning. reward yourself and do it! It will get you serene, and contented.  And this contentment will be 'felt' in your presence...

4.Learn to FLIRT!!! Flirting is sooooo uber-important in the mating dance! I see so many lovely bw and they have NO clue how to flirt. Listen to me because I am going to introduce you to the master of flirting and seduction! Go to YT and watch the master do it. Type in Diana Ross and watch her work! This lady could give Ginie Polo a run for her money and how to pull a rich man! She is the absolute best! Also watch how in love poor Michael was with her, and how he practically turned into a lit Xmas tree whenever she was near! Insiders say she was so effortless at making men fall for her (many times without trying!) that women used to forbid their husbands from going near her! She's what the earthy people call " A Bad Bitch!"  So If you cannot pin down the magic that Ms Ross exudes so naturally, then go to Amazon and buy a few books hun, You'll catch on...

5. I'm going to stop at 5 today because I promised myself I would get this blog back up and running, and If i make the posts too long, it will be a difficult promise to keep as I plan to post 2x per week. So without further adieu, The main thing that will attract men of all income levels, looks, skill and position, is CONFIDENCE. It's one  of the most attractive qualities a woman can have. Now, if you don't have it, -get it! Go get training in SOMETHING that will ignite a fire of confidence and excitement inside you. Be special at something! Everybody has been given talents and abilties to do something in this world. Find out what that thing is for you. If you have no idea. then grab a sheet of paper and ask yourself  ' what do I like to do?  what am I interested in? What would I be willing to do for free? Find that certain something that sets you apart girl and make it an integral part of your life....

Thank you for tuning in, Come back in a few days, and we'll learn how to: Get a man's attention so intensely, he does not even see other women!!!