Tuesday, June 6, 2017

How to TEACH a man to treat you right!

























Ladies, the following story is just an example of how men LEARN to act the way they act. Many times women ask. " Why does he treat me like this?" The reason is usually, because you taught him he could get away with it! Many women cannot accept this, and seek out exterior sources to blame. However when you blame your problems on outside elements, that means they are beyond YOUR control and you are at the mercy of those problems. So, assuming it's your issue, and your issue to change is really quite liberating..

Now, please hear me. I'm not saying if a man is a complete jerk, it's your fault. What I am saying is that if that jerk STAYS in your life, then yes, that IS your fault because you should have given him the boot fast...

I've provided 2 examples, so you can see what I'm talking about...



See if you can tell after reading the following .....
Mike pushed his blond hair back, and surveyed the room. His brother Louis, who owned a predominant share in their finance company, seemed to be busy fighting off the office women as usual. He looked up at him and gestured for help. Mike just laughed. He and his brother both were very used to the tenacious attentions of opportunistic females. He could smell them a mile away. What most of the women did not know was that he and his brother, both of whom were blond haired, blue eyed, and all American looking, both preferred black women. His friends and family had long ago come to terms with it, and it no longer seem to matter, that is , except to white women, who often threw hissy fits upon seeing him with his latest date. But he was in his 30s and ready to settle down. More and more he had been dreaming of a wife instead of just a one night stand. He sighed as he realized his big brother was standing over him, squinting.

"Penny for your thoughts man" Louis pulled out a chair and sat down. Mike shook his head, not quite sure he was ready to admit what was on his mind. Louis spread his muscular arms wide, then gestured for their mutual friend Jackson to join them. A moment later Jackson appeared with Don in towe. Mike sighed. When the 4 of them got together, all they seemed to talk about was football, and for once he was not in the mood. Jackson looked closely at him. His black skin shining under the bright lights "whatsup with you boy?" Don broke in " looks like female trouble t'me" he said trying to hide the southern accent he was often teased about. "Nah, I just ... I guess I'm just a little bored" Mike confessed hoping they would let it drop. His brother leaned toward him, his handsome face crinkled in amusement."what the hell you bored for? too many women, too much money, too many cars, man tell me!" Mike glared at him, but did not answer. Everyone seemed to think if you had lots of money life was perfect-but his life was empty as hell and he knew it. "listen man, " his brother motioned for him to move closer "I need you to do me a big favor..." Mike cut him off " No way man I'm not going to fire anybody for you or-" Louis held up his hand "Man I don't need you to, I have no problem firing people who don't pull their weight. No this is something else..." His voice trailed off, then with what looked like a go-ahead look from Jackson he continued. "There are two women I need you to take out, One this week, and one next week.

" He held up his hand to silence Mike's protest "Man listen one is your dreamgirl I guarantee it. The other we just need to make her happy so we can get her business!" Mike rolled his eyes "man why me? I mean what about Jackson? you know I ain't into white girls" Louis shook his head slightly at Mike the way one looks at a mentally challenged child "Who said they were white?" he asked quietly. Jackson laughed "yeah one of em, we think is just perfect for you, you'll see she's fierce! the other well she'll do in a pinch" Mike did not like it. He didn't like feeling like he was being set up, and he didn't need his brother to pick his dates. But Louis would not take no for an answer and mike finally agreed "I won't even spend money on their asses" he thought "I'll take em both to the cove, talk em out of their drawers and be on my way!" He laughed at the thought of his brother's face when he did not get the business he was aiming for "it'll serve him right " he thought sneakily. "Let me go get a new suit..."

When Mike pulled up to the large dark house, He surveyed it quietly before he began to he beep impatiently. Not bothering to get out and go meet her first, he simply remained seated. He  leaned back in his beamer and waited. She emerged a moment later. Beautiful, dark and sexy looking, with hair weave flowing over her slim shoulders. His brother had said her name was Pam. That was easy enough to remember, at least for the night. She was dressed in a short, tight dress that left her breasts hanging over the top. Her weave was thick and heavy and she wore far more makeup than such a pretty face required. She got into the car and smiled at him. She didn't seem to be at all annoyed by the fact that he did not come to the door. He was used to women letting him get away with shit.

When you're rich, handsome, and extremely well connected the normal rules don't seem to apply. " Oh everybody said you were gorgeous" she gushed "they were right" He didn't bother to answer. Obviously, she was the dreamgirl, and yeah she was hot and all, so why did he feel so let down? They drove up to the cove and got out. Pam grabbed his hand and pulled it to her breast. He looked at her quickly to see if it had been an accident but the mischievous look on her face told him otherwise. "So what'll you like to do?" he asked. trying to keep the boredom out of his tone. He had dated women like her a thousand times. "I love to go to the country club and-" Mike tuned her out. His attention was on her hot body. Her breasts pushing against the rim of a dress that looked 2 sizes too small. She seemed to notice what he was staring at and giggled. A moment later they were locked in a passionate embrace, getting hotter by the moment. "you wanna go to the hilton?" she breathed. Mike just looked her, thinking '_Why the hell should I,?  - You ain't worth all the trouble of checking in and paying 300 bucks!"

"Ah no baby, he breathed. I want you too bad!" She fell for it. In minutes they had disposed of their clothes and given way to pure passion. Two hours later, Mike lay spent, his breathing slowly returning to normal. Pam turned to him "I'm so glad we met" she gushed. " On our next date maybe we could see that new movie..." Once again he had tuned her out. He was listening to the sound of the water lapping against the shore. He had always loved that sound since childhood. Pam's voice pierced his thoughts. "maybe we could go to the beach or the movies or -" He shot her a, shut the hell up look, "Mike! she wined, You're not even listening to me! I'm telling you my feelings about- " "about what?" he shot back,
"Woman I don't even know you" and frankly you're voice is starting to get on my nerves!"

Pam looked like he had slapped her. In the next instant she was sobbing "you must think I'm some kind of whore!" she moaned. Mike was getting more irritated by the moment "Did this idiot expect an instant relationship from a cheap screw? She really was stupid. " It's getting cold, he murmured, " I better get you home." When they got in the car he turned on the stereo, and let the temptations take him to another place. Soon they pulled up to her house. He turned to look at her. Pam's face was red and blotchy from crying. She looked weak and vulnerable, he was so turned off, he had to look away. "would you walk me to the door? " she asked, but it sounded more like plead. Reluctantly he walked her up the walk "will I see you again?" she asked hopefully "Yeah sure, " he murmured, knowing he was lying. She tried to reach for another kiss, but he was already backing away. He could not wait to get away from her desperate ass, He practically sprinted to the car...

When Mike pulled up to the small but cute, cottage looking house, he did not know what to expect. If the last girl was the dreamgirl, "my God what must this one be like?" he wondered. He tried honking but no one came to the door. Getting irritated, he walked up and knocked. The door slid open and a brown skinned woman with her hair in a ponytail and very little make up, peered up at him. She was attractive but not nearly to the degree of someone like Pam.but She did have big brown eyes and sensuous lips. He was shocked to see her wearing very little makeup and dressed in jeans and a pretty pink blouse. Women usually went all out for him! She was on the slim side and her body was very nicely proportioned, missing the super large breasts and booty he usually went for. He knew her name was alexis but that was all he knew about her. "Ah I honked " He murmured. "no, you didn't " she said evenly. He squinted in confusion "yes I did I-" She held up her manicured hand and looked into his face " No, you did not " She repeated "unless you were honking for someone else because My dates do not honk, they come to my door!" Mike's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He was so taken aback, he stuttered.  " uh ok..."  This was a total surprise. He had a sudden feeling this date would be very different than so many others he had been on.

"who doe's this chick think she is?' he wondered. but he had to admit, he was feeling the first stirrings of respect for her.  She stepped outside, and fell in step beside him, Her perfume subtle and classy. _just like her,_ he found himself thinking. He opened the car door for her and she rewarded  him  with a slight smile. He tried not to smile back, but lost, she was so damn adorable sitting there, with her head held high, like some kind of princess! As soon as he turned on the temptations, she started to sing. He was blown away at the beauty of her voice, as well as her confidence. When he complimented her beautiful voice instead of waving the compliment away, she smiled and said "thanks everyone in my family can sing." It seemed only moments passed before they reached the cove. "Ah I thought we could get to know each other .." He stammered in response to her surprised look. " that's fine," she said finally." but next time ask if I feel like coming here instead of eating or something" He nodded, wondering once again who this woman thought she was! No woman controlled him! He was going to show her who was boss. They talked about everything. She was passionate about her new business and all the plans she had for it. Mike watched her face beam with excitement as she talked about her business. Usually the only thing he saw a woman that excited about was HIM!

He was at a complete loss to explain why he liked her so much, but he had to admit that he did. A few minutes later he lapsed into silence and listened to the water push against the shore. She was watching him " Are you listening to the water lap the shore?" she asked. Mike looked at her stunned. "how did you know?" he asked "because your eyes went to the side, you were in auditory mode" " I was in what?" he laughed. "auditory mode! it just means you were hearing things in your head " she smiled. She leaned in closer "I do that too! she confided. " I love the sound of the water! Mike's heart started a faster beat. He starred at alexis wondering what it was about her that made his heart pound. Why did he feel like he had known her forever, when they just met a few hours ago! " He leaned in "Can I kiss you?" He asked quickly, realizing he was holding his breath. She nodded, and they shared a kiss so sweet he knew he would be on cloud 9 for days. She seemed to be in tune to him in a way he had never experienced before. He felt like he was under a spell! Way too soon she made him take her home. He rushed to open the car door and help her from the car. She looked up at him her big brown eyes glittering in the moonlight, and lovely brown skin reminiscent of chocolate silk. He wondered how he had ever thought Pam was prettier than her. He knew now without a doubt she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. At the door he rushed to ask if he could see her again next Friday. She hesitated, Mike bit his lip so hard it almost bled
. Finally she looked up at him "I have plans for Friday and Saturday, but I can see you on Sunday" she said finally. A big smile broke out on his face as she hugged him good bye. He could smell her freshly washed hair and feel the softness of her skin. His heart raced at her nearness. He couldn't wait until Sunday! "I'm gonna take her to Maxine's" he thought "No, I'll take her to the country club, she'll like that."  ' _and I'll bring flowers and candy_ he thought hurriedly. He began to plan the date in his head. This time he would bring flowers and candy and take her to the country club, and show her what a gentlemen he really was. . "Damn Louis" He thought "Why didn't he tell me I was going to meet my dream girl?"...

What did Pam do wrong that Alexis did right?

Why did Mike feel so much connection with Alexis?

Why did he feel under a spell, -was it just a coincidence?

why did Alexis suddenly seem so much more beautiful to him?

And most of all, how did she manage to turn herself into his dream girl in his eyes?

Ladies, always set the tone in the beginning of your relationship in order to avoid alot of problems along the way. Will there still be problems? Of course, honey this is life not a soap opera, but you can alleviate or exaggerate alot of the relationship problems in the long haul simply by how you act at the beginning. The truth is YOU are teaching him how much he can get away with and whether you are a dream girl or a doormat simply by what you say/or don't say and how you act/ or don't act.
This is called, setting a precedent. and it is extremely important. Why? Because this is what he will come to expect. If you start the relationship off taking crap, he will give you more and more of it. Always make it clear from the outset, you expect to be treated well. The men who are willing to step up to the plate will stick around and treat you like a jewel, the ones who have no intentions of being Honorable will fade away. Either way you are much better off. Ladies, you MUST have standards and requirements! No matter what anyone tells you. Women who get what they want always have standards and requirements. Real men are very used to rising to the occasion. They are used to performing at work, working hard for promotions, working hard when they hunt, fish, or play sports. They understand rising to the occasion quite well and very efficient at it. However, the woman who allows a man to just come and go as he pleases, and walk all over her will soon find herself relegated to the bed mate category while he searches for his choosy dream girl. Even nice men will take freebies while looking for someone with more class and standards. The way you act in the beginning WILL set the tone for the relationship and once it's set, it is extremely hard to change it. Never let him get away with anything in the beginning. Let him know: " This is what I want, and this is what I will not accept!" This should be done in a sweet and steadfast fashion. There is no need to be nasty or get angry. He should know by your very actions and the way you carry yourself, what you will and won't tolerate. If he's obtuse and does not have a clue. Give him one. If he suggests you skip the movie and go to a hotel instead (long before he has a right to hope for such a thing) Simply Tell him: " Oh I understand you don't want to see the movie, perhaps you should take me home and we'll see it so other time." Look him in the eye and smile sweetly. If he's a gentleman he will immediately become contrite and back off. If he's not, then you should immediately exit his car, as soon as it is safe to do so. The bottom line is that you MUST set the tone from the inception of a relationship and guide him to treating you like a queen...... or kick him to the curb if he refuses to toe the line.... Post in 2 days... thank y'all for tuning in....

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I LOVE this blog this thread is the truth and am sharing it with the BWWOB community on Facebook starting 7/28.

Anonymous said...

Mean to say it's me Dee Dee Russell-Lefrak, use to read ALL your writings before 'everything' happened and thanks for coming back HAPPY to share your links you've been sorely missed, huge fan here.

Anonymous said...

What happens if you messed up with a man you like in the beginning and now wish to be more Alexis-like? Is it possible? Or would you have to leave the current man and start over with someone else?

Taylor-sara said...

Anon immediately begin treating him like a friend. When he calls act like you are talking to your friend and treat him like that. If u have been fawning over him, back off asap! Treat him like a very casual friend. U need to reset the parameter in the relationship to 0. U do this by Taking it back to the beginning. Treat him like a casual friend, and refuse a couple of dates. Act like ur busy, and make him EARN your time. Be relaxed and carefree. But indifferent. This offers your best chance to reset the relationship to new.. you can email me at irloveandspicewithts@yahoo.com and we can talk further...