Hey Everybody, I'm going to give the answer and another example so y'all can see what I mean...
The reason they were not connecting was because they were essentially speaking two separate languages. Paul was EXTREMELY VISUAL, while our lady was very much a kinestetic (feelings person). Paul related to the world almost exclusively by his eyes. This explained why he took the scenic route, was mesmerized by the sunset, and picked the beautiful restaurant.
Everybody has a favorite love language. You will have one too. It does not mean you don't use your other senses. It just means that in 99% of people one sense will predominate. For about two-thirds of people, it will be the visual. The other third will be split between auditory (hearing ) and kinestic (feelings) When she asked him how the dress looked. He was not trying to be a jerk. He noticed the color because he is so highly visual and in his mind, he was being honest. He overreacted about the waitress because the image was disgusting to him and he felt his dinner was ruined. ( Strong Visuals often overreact to dirt, messes, excrement etc. ) When she reflected his behavior back to him, he could see how silly it was and he instantly calmed down. *this trick will work with many men* When she began to speak his language, then he actually began to see her and become attracted. It sounds silly but many women totally miss the cues, and if you speak feelings to a visual man, you might as well pack it in! He will often turn off, think that you're a bit loony and disappear. Visuals are VERY uncomfortable talking about feelings. They relate to the world by what they see. Yes, they most certainly have feelings, yet they experience them through their eyes. exp.
( Men) don't bother telling a visual woman you love her. Forget it, I guarantee you she will be thinking: ' well then where the hell is my ring? ' or 'Then why aren't you buying me flowers, or taking me to dinner!' See, she will be experiencing the world through her eyes. Her motto will be 'don't tell me -SHOW ME!!! ' - " I want to SEE the love!" This is woman you can try to 'love' all day, but unless she sees evidence of it -she will NOT believe you!
Ladies, don't tell the visual man " I just wanna make love to you all day! " Please don't say that-he just might run! Instead say something like: " looking at you makes me wanna call out from work -all week!" He will eat that up. Or " You look so good in that suit, you make me wanna rip it off!" See he can now SEE how you feel, and he will understand. To determine your man's love language -listen carefully. A pattern will emerge. The more visual he is the faster it will emerge. Here are some more clues:
He is very organized and gets into a bad mood in a dirty house.
He dresses very well and spends alot of time grooming.
He walks tall and has a proud 'peacock ' air about him
He works out and watches his weight.
He looks at you alot with an admiring look on his face.
He has a hard time hiding his feelings when upset (the visual face is very expressive-they usually don't make good poker players)
He loves to watch movies, or tv etc.
He loves to see you dance or be seductive or be naked etc.
* This one will give him away every time* Visual men are extremely nosy, when he drives, he will CONSTANTLY look in the rear view mirror! It's almost unconscious- he HAS to know what other drivers are doing....
Anyway, maybe you've experienced the following situation and had no idea what the problem was until now.....
Visual..v.. Kinestetic (clues to their language in red)
Dawn removed her expensive coat and carefully hung it in the hall closet. She could hear her husband puttering around in the kitchen, making one of his specialties. She smoothed her already perfect clothing and headed toward the kitchen. As soon as she stepped foot in the door, her pulse began to race! She had left the kitchen spotless before she had left this morning and now it was a wreck! There was spaghetti sauce and dishes everywhere! crumbs on her counters, juice spilled on her freshly scrubbed floors, something running down the wall, and worst of all, her brand new kitchen rugs were ruined with sauce stains-she knew would never come out! Keith turned toward her with a big stupid grin on his face, he was covered in flour and some concoction she could not identify. "hey baby! just thought I'd make dinner " he said happily. "Then we can cuddle by the fire and-" "wait!, Keith-" too late he had come and put his spaghetti covered hands all over her expensive designer dress! Now Dawn was too angry to speak. Keith realized what he had done and tried to apologize quickly. "oh honey, I am so sorry- here take that off and I will hand wash it right-" Dawn stopped him with a withering look. "what the hell is wrong with you?" she demanded. "anyone with half an eye could see your hands were dirty-why do you act so stupid!" Keith looked as if she had slapped him. "honey, I said I was sorry !" he said softly. "but why do you have to say such cruel things, why are you so cold, and mean spirited? Do you realize how much pain you cause or you just don't give a damn?" Dawn backed away, and looked at him like he had lost it. "you wanna talk about pain!" she shouted. "look at my damn kitchen! I just cleaned it before I left, do you really think I wanna come home and see it looking like this!" "I had pictured coming home to a nice clean kitchen and now look what I get! Keith backed away, as if her words were fists coming toward his face. "honey I didn't mean-" '"S - A-V- E I- T! she drawled maliciously, her face a mask of anger. "You have ruined my rugs, my curtains, and now my dress all because you're too stupid to see, you can't cook! Keith looked beaten."honey I just wanted to hug my wife, sorry I sure did not mean to ruin your precious dress!" With that he turned and slammed out of the house leaving Dawn to clean the mess.....
The clues to each person's language are in red. Kinestetics often wear their heart on their sleeve and get hurt very easily. Visuals hate messes! In fact the more visual people are the cleaner their house will be, the more organized they will be and the less tolerant of dirt and disorder they will be. Can you see how dawn wanted her home to match the clean picture she had in her head? Can you see that Keith wanted only to have a good meal and cuddle by the fire? -Kinestetics always want to do what feels good. Visuals on the other hand want things to look good . Can you see how these two will have to get on the same wavelength in order for their relationship to survive?
Wealth ideas for the Entrepreneurs....
Joe could not find a job in his hometown. Since the mill had closed he had been struggling to feed his family and was on the verge of losing his home. He knew he had to come up with something. While sitting down to his meal of rice for the 3rd time that week, Joe racked his brain. His wife's face looked drawn and tight. Fear of the future had them both barely speaking anymore. Joe glanced out the front window and spied his run down Chevy. Man he wanted a new car! Hell, for that matter he wanted a new home new life ...... He just wanted to make things better for his poor wife. She had put up with so much! He watched as his disabled neighbor Benny struggled to get out of his new car. For one second Joe was jealous and the next he felt guilty. His neighbor was disabled and had been since birth. What kind of jerk would feel jealousy and anger instead of sympathy. He wiped his mouth and ran out to help Benny. Benny smiled gratefully up at Joe as he gently guided him from the car. "I had to wait 3 months for them to equip it so I could drive it and still they claim they don't have the part to help me exit it- it's so frustrating" Benny sighed. "I've been down there arguing with those people many times, and in my condition -that's a lot on me!" Joe nodded sympathetically, as he helped Benny into the house. But having a captive audience was too much for Benny. He showed Joe the mountain of paperwork, he had incurred trying to get the part that would enable him to exist freely from the car. He talked incessantly about how hard it was on him to go through this. Joe was sympathetic, but he could not help thinking-"at least you've got the money to buy that part and that car and any damn thing else you want!" But when he looked at Benny's tired face, he felt guilty. It wasn't Benny's fault he was broke and out of work. He suddenly had an idea. "Ben, whadda say I find that part for you for a fee?" he asked. Benny's face instantly brightened. "yes please -I'll gladly pay it. I'm so tired of trying to fight with these people-yes please!" Joe suddenly felt optimistic for the first time in months. He and Benny came to a fee agreement and within 2 days Joe had not only located the part but had arranged for the part to be installed in the car. He had the car back to Benny by the end of the week. Joe even had it washed he was -grateful for the fee he desperately needed. Benny, also was beside himself with gratitude. He not only paid Joe the 200.00 fee in cash, he called some of his disabled friends and referred them to Joe. Within 2 weeks Joe had a thriving business finding parts for not only disabled people but all kinds of special needs Medical, pregnancy, young, old or any kind of need. He would haggle with the dealer and save the client sometimes thousands thereby making them more than glad to pay his fee. He also made sure the cars were delivered clean and installed. Before he knew what was happening he had to turn clients away. There were just not enough hours to help everyone. He had to limit his business to 30 cars per month.But at 200.00 a pop he was making a killing and still had plenty of time to spend with his family. Now they moved from their house because they wanted to not because they had to. Joe and his family moved to a home 3x larger and bought a brand new car for both he and his wife. This is a business anyone can start. You can use newspaper ads or flyer's or just business cards. Depending on how fast you want to grow. You will need to have a large metropolitan area nearby, as it will be hard to do this in a very small town. But this can be adapted to finding homes, apartments vehicles or anything else. Use your imagination. You really do have the answers inside of you. Just ask and then listen.......But most of all -just do it!